Depresso. Oh you’re a model? Some people always in a mood to upset others, they find different ways to hurt people. A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table. Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just fruits. It’s a win-win for sure. Teacher knows who my crush is, assigns my seat next to her. (So what if mine are of the “conceal and carry” type? There’s an overflow of content on Instagram. My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. Enjoy! Yea, dating is cool but have you every had stuffed crust pizza? Dude, all my friends have birthdays this year. There’s something about childhood friends that you just can’t replace. You only drink diet soda? If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption. I myself never feel that I’m sexy. When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance. I try not to work too many Sunday. Please don’t call.”, “Hey don’t be sad! When your happiness is less important than the other person’s happiness, my friend you are in love. When you can’t find the sunshine, be the sunshine. looks green and sunny and the caption over the province reads "Oooh! Brains are awesome. Just one more minute. You and I are more than friends. 111+ Motivating Inspirational Quotes 2021, 113 Best Good Morning Quotes of All Time – Make every Morning Count (Updated 2021), 209+ CHILL and AWESOME Happy Quotes for you 2021, 250 Fresh Beach Quotes for a Fantastic Summer, 175 Instagram Caption about LOVE (for Couples and Lovers), 99+ Motivating and Inspiring Quotes About Life 2021, 111+ WISE and GREAT Confucius Quotes 2021, 230 Cool Instagram Captions for Adventure, 211 Funny Pinterest Quotes – to get more Shares and Pins, 126 Best Friend Quotes to live by and to bond, 97 Funny Quotes About Love (Life is serious enough!). Dear God, there is a bug in your week Software. I wish everybody had one. The word “studying” was made up of two words originally “students dying”. How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? Don’t take life too seriously. There are two rules in life. Your continuous stream of self-portraits on Facebook is in no way indicative of a desperate cry for attention. I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore! I don’t have Ex’s, I have Y’s. Type above and press Enter to search. My advice to y'all is, don't … Congrats on making it o-fish-ial. My life, My choices, My mistakes, My lessons, Not your business. What do you call an owl that does magic tricks? Single, taken, in a relationship. Love planted a rose, and the world turned sweet. No harm in sharing a good laugh! Join the circus and grow your Social Media the fun way. I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here. I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, call me Beercules. Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand. 121+ Clever Brooklyn Bridge Instagram Captions For Your Perfect Pictures. Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape. My dog is mad at me because they could smell another dog on my clothes. No, you are not. Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. Me, myself and I. I love to collect pictures of natural disasters. People who are too weak to follow their dreams will always find a way to discourage yours. These two make such a gouda couple. In the morning I can’t get up. Onions make me sad. I thought I was the only one. That means a lot of awesome and fun times worth capturing. If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. Where you movin’? My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat. That’s the sperm that won. And now you do too.”, “Posting this to make everyone else feel better about themselves. Imma worry ‘bout me, give a f**k about you. If you can fake that, you’re in. Dear vegetarians, if you’re trying to save animals, then why are you eating their food? Happy National Selfie Day to someone whose face I’ve seen more than my own. I can sea clearly now; Summer is a state of mind. With great power comes great electricity bills! If you want to write creative captions for your sistherhood, take a look. I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unflawed it. I love sarcasm. I’ll never try to fit in. – Patricia Briggs, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Are you ok? If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever. Like “Why Did I ever date you?”. Hey good lookin, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? Don’t let anyone rent a space in your head unless they’re a good tenant. Hope to be your friend until we die, become best ghosts after death. People say it is hard to find friends, just because best one is with me. Alcohol will give different, type of superhuman power! Why should I disillusion them? Pork Chop. This too shall pass. APPRECIATE GOOD PEOPLE. The only thing I throwback on a Thursday is a scotch. My head says gym but my heart says tacos. I live for the nights that I can’t remember with the people that I won’t forget. She fits into your wife’s clothes. I just taught you to say “Bacon” with a Jamaican accent. I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waste of time. Bikini season is right around the corner. Insecurities can make even the smartest and most beautiful person foolishly question themselves despite how amazing they truly are. Why is it that we tend to take relationships for granted? The second best are very expensive. Sometimes you just don’t need a doctor, sometimes your best friend is the therapy. Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it. Yet it remains the funniest! An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit. Thank you for sharing your big day with me, and a special thank you to the cake you’re serving. What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram. Please. As millennials move from one social media platform to another, Instagram seems to hook them pretty well. Some days I amaze myself. Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it. Of curse, I talk to myself. There is never a time or place for true love. Don’t try to be someone that society wants you to be; that’s stupid. – Susan Branch, Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. That annoying moment when you finally get comfortable in bed, but then BAM, you have to pee. Shoot for the moon. Sometimes I pretend to be normal. There’s a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair. I’ll be poor. Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either. If you’re waiting for me to give a shit, you better pack a lunch. Dear Haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at…Just be patient. Really?? If there would be an award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me! I’m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs. A little birthday party they said, it’ll be fun they said. The idea is to die young . And everyone can see that but you. LIFE, EYELINER, EVERYTHING. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. I hate it when I gain10 lbs for a role and then I realize I am not even an actor. But first, it will piss you off. I need a six month holiday, twice a year. If you ever ignore my attitude, I will not pick up your luggage again. When nature is your home, you don’t visit it. I know the voices in my head aren’t real. I see food, and I eat it. Encourage you. Remember when you were better than me ?.. – Sam Keen, When all else fails, take a vacation. You’re welcome.”, “Showing myself at my worst so the next selfie I post, you’ll all be astounded by my stunning transformation.”, “I’m probably going to regret this (in 3…2…1…).”, “Woke up like this. Don’t post something crappy, pick a photo that best describes your friendship, and pick the perfect Funny Instagram captions to go with your funny moments. I don’t even know where the box is. Keep on hating. He said, “Papers.” I said, “Scissors and I win.” Don’t think the cop found it funny. Obviously a girl because it won’t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas. . I eat cake because it is somebody’s birthday somewhere! God is really creative, I mean just look at me. Funny Sunset Captions. THEY ARE HARD TO COME BY. I hope you always find a reason to smile. Your status is measured by your actions. But in your case, go ahead. People who hate You are the ones who view your profile the most. Check all our social media resources. A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table…. You never know what you have until you clean your room. It’s about the party. It’s like punching people in the face but with words. Worst two minutes of my life. All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. There are so many great Instagram captions, from inspiring quotes to witty sayings. Really? Just like everyone else. You go to school, nothing happens. Handle every situation like a dog. Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them. WE WERE BORN TO BE REAL, NOT TO BE PERFECT. I am not feeling lazy actually. They don’t do it very often. I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves. Eat, pray, love. I am standing outside. Why you don’t consider my clever attitude in my serious photos. Got a new phone today, my old phone failed the swimming test. Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding. For every action, I have a clever reserve caption. No matter where I went, I always knew my way back to you. Have you ever considered finding another hobby besides taking pictures of yourself. 9 Cool Captions For Girls. You’re so cute. The lyrics always speak right to my heart. I have a case of wanderlust. Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they’re behind you for a reason. The selfies you don’t post are what you really look like – ugly. I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance. That is the reason one should never marry. Ans: ya neither do I. I`m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs. Aye, I’m just feeling my vibes right now, I’m feeling myself. I made a huge list for today. I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Some of the funniest punchlines on Earth is made by men who just throw the nonsense jokes in the air without thinking about it . People who cant stand to see the success of others will never experience their own. You know you’re very popular when people you don’t even know hate you. Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege. Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. It’s why suitcases have wheels now. I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception. Warning – You might fall in love with me. I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying! One should always be in love. I’ve built an empire with the bricks they’ve thrown at me. I’m not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens! – Betty Williams, A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. But first, let me take a … Good morning beautiful! I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut. 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